Clay feet and cartoons
It’s not been a very good week for religion. First, some faith healer in India got arrested for failing to revive one of his house guests, who’d committed suicide somewhat earlier.
To stick with suicide for a bit, wannabe Muslim martyrs weren’t exactly pleased when someone in Allah’s Eternal Garden of Delights leaked a picture of the Virgin Welcoming Committee.
Not that Christians had a good week. Not when news reached them that Adam had been kicked out of that other Garden - again! And this time round he couldn’t even blame Eve for his troubles.
Mind you, since most people believe that God made Adam from mud, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that he proved to have feet of clay.
Talking of which, an article in the online Times asked the question why Hollywood likes cartoon figures so much, these days.
Well, maybe because they don’t go stark raving mad like this or prove to be drunk KKK fodder like this guy.
So, there’s much to be said for the use of cartoon figures instead of human actors.
In fact, it might be high time that we replaced our politicians with cartoon characters as well. After all, those two-dimensional figures of fun couldn’t make a much worse job of it than their flesh and blood counterparts - and they would sure as Hell be more popular.
I mean, when Giuliani can’t even get the ferret vote and even George Bush’s stomach (after that latest greeting gaff in Germany) becomes heartily sick of its owner, it might be time to pull the plug on that set of ugly losers and go for more friendly types like Taz or more eloquent and suave ones like the original Donald Duck.
What’s more, as an ultimate act of self defence, we may well be forced to replace all these terrible people with cartoons. Unlike Adam, they will never leave their cozy Gardens under their own steam.
You’re a brainless celeb, caught in the act? Get your out of jail card here - and hey: let’s make some extra cash out of it as well and create an online game.
You’re a politician and you’ve lied to your country and invaded another? Just retire whenever it suits you and then make millions on the American lecture circuit.
In sports, when you get caught cheating, you pay. When you’re a celeb or a politician - well, order your cheating bracelet here.
So, bring on those toons - and let’s all hail the next president of the US of A, who, when holding his or her first State of the Union address, will end, of course, with these, already immortal and beloved words.
I can’t wait.
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