Jesus loves me! This I know, Oprah Winfrey tells me so.
At the G8 Bush and Putin held a press conference, in which the president of the US expressed the hope that Russia would soon have a free press - more or less repeating earlier speeches, in which he assured the Russian president that a free press is not the enemy. Putin was not particularly impressed, to be honest.
No doubt, this feeling was shared by all those poor congressmen who just about managed not to have massive strokes and heart-attacks when they read their copies of the Hustler magazine over their cocaine-sprinkled cornflakes.
Still, Putin seems more worried about possible foreign shenanigans than whatever his domestic journalists are up to. He’s now quite sure that American scientists are trying to make all Russian males infertile.
Which sounds like the usual Russian paranoia, if not for another bit of news that hit the stands today, in which the various experiments the US army had considered over the years were discussed - from weapons that caused the enemy to suffer from flatulence and bad breath to bombs that would turn all those brave Cossacks into raving gays.
Seen in that light, Russia’s latest worry doesn’t sound as stupid as it otherwise would have. Talking of stupidity though, there’s an article that suggests that, these days, we live under a dictatorship of idiots.
It’s hard to argue with that, when you read stories about a school that bans songs about gay Eskimos, or fundamentalist Christians who complain that they are not allowed to march in a gay parade.
Or, and much more sickening, some bloody moron who writes about the hard luck stories of war criminals; specifically about the tough time torturers have of coming to terms with the unspeakable things they’ve done. Our hearts bleed for these poor souls - victims all, of course.
You know, it’s getting harder and harder to remember but once we did live in a world where not every fucking thing was turned into a commercial for self-help & feel good moronology. Now though, our little lives are rounded with self-empowering, Oprahpproved rackets and all kinds of other imbeciles who’d smother us in their Godhead-loving, Godawful cocoons of health & safety regulations.
Right - end of rant.
On a more positive note, forest guards in India have finally found some real use for mobile phones: an animal-friendly way of catching leopards, no less.
Maybe the Indian government should send these good people to America and its allies, to give seminars to the Western law & order crowd, on how to deal creatively and successfully with all kinds of threats and problems.
God knows these Western agencies need it. Their much-publicised war on terror has become as corrupt and idiotic as that old but still ongoing war on drugs.
Not that they would listen, of course. They don’t want change - they just want more money and more toys to do the same dumb stuff over and over again, on an ever escalating scale.
But then, of course, why should you try to solve problems, when you can simply make things up as you go along and, if all else fails, pray to Jesus to come and make it better.
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