As boats beget barnacles, cities grow stories. Prague is an old city, so it has gathered a lot of interesting stories. Some are hidden, some are almost too big to be noticed any more and almost all of them are interesting - and some are damned funny.
Did you know, for instance that the seriously land-locked republic of Czechoslovakia once had its own navy? Strange but true. ‘T was in the communist era, of course - most mad tales come from that unhappy time. The Russians needed money, so they came up with yet another thieving & blackmailing scheme. They had some old boats that they wanted to be rid of and so they forced the Czechoslovakian puppet government to buy these ships (that were rusting in some faraway communist harbour.)
Thus, the republic of Czechoslovakia got its own navy and its own admiral, no doubt, who after the Russians had finally buggered off probably spent his retirement in his splendid uniforms, ceremoniously opening one McDonald’s outlet after the other.
Anyway, like I said, cities accumulate stories like cats gather the corpses of their unhappy victims and leave them for their owners to clear away. Right now though I was thinking of another true story, from another small country - and how I once came upon the story that the Swiss government had built an official landing site for UFO’s.
I was also thinking about my cat and cursing it enthusiastically but that was just business as usual. Well, maybe not quite that:
“They want what?!” I asked, hardly believing my luck.
“They want me to come with them, to their home planet, where they will build temples for me - and a palace, of course.”
“Those stupid aliens still think you’re a God?”
“Yesss.”
“What fun. And of course you told them you would be happy to come and be their God for ever and ever amen?”
“Yes. On one condition though.”
“Ah…?”
“I told them my slave had to come too.”
“Your slave…” “
“Yes”
“By which you mean…”
“Yes.”
“Of course. And then I trust they explained to you that I would not fit into their tiny spaceships.”
“Yes.”
“Good.”
“So I told them to go home and build a larger spaceship.”
“To which they replied…?”
“Yesss…!!!“
“Bloody Hell.”
(To be continued.)
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