Reasons to be cheerful
It’s been yet another proud week for humanity. In England cheese advertisements have been taken off the air - cheese, of course, being a key factor in corrupting the youth. (This in contrast to, let’s say, the wholesome and splendidly educational entertainment American Idols offers.)
More and more celebrities are cruising the world’s poorest places for more and more photogenic & starving orphans, causing very strange traffic jams indeed.
Then, the USA’s most beloved/hated rogue president, Bill ‘B-J’ Clinton, made the papers again. This time not for not inhaling or other things you can do with smoking stubbies though. Nope, the once most powerful man on earth now earns a bit of cash on the side, writing puzzles for the New York Times.
It’s a fair guess though that none of the clues (or solutions) will involve words like ‘intern’, ‘Whitewater’, ‘dress stains’, ‘Vietnam’ or ‘blow jobs’, since that would have resulted in fairly cross words from Hillary, who is still trying to win an election.
To top all of this though, there was the story that a peace & goodwill-building football match between Muslim and Christian clergy in Norway had to be called off after they had a row over women players.
Mind you, it was fairly stupid to involve women in this game. Given the respective histories of Christians and Muslims on this issue, it would have been much less divisive to invite children to come play with them.
Anyway, with all this and lots of other stuff going on, it was truly a great joy to read that scientists have done things to worms that will result in all of us adding another thirty years to our human lives.
Yup, that’s just what we needed.
When even hardcore Republicans can’t face another four years of more of the same and a mere three movies about spiders have the critics arachnavomiting all over the world’s entertainment pages, why on earth do we need to prolong our collective misery with another thirty years? (And that’s not even taking into account that these days adulthood starts around the time children are out of their nappies anyway.)
In this time of mindless terrorism, decadence and attention-seeking losers, it would make much more sense to ask Santa not to give us more time but to take away two or three score of our years till we learn to spend our lives a bit more sensibly.
(Besides, quiet consummation would be much, much better than hanging around for the now inevitable Stalin in Love: the Musical!)
If you enjoyed this post, subscribe today to get free updates by email or RSS.
