Closing time
Like that old Doors song goes: People are strange - and they prove the wisdom of these words every single day on this wonderful, if blood-soaked, ravishing and ravished planet of ours.
It’s not often that we are truly at a loss for words – unless one is a Spanish football supporter at an international tournament, of course. Still, I’m sure there will have been a few waiters in a certain restaurant who really did not know what to say when one customer sat down to prepare his own, very private meat dish.
And what about that boy with the catapult? My oh my, not only was Germaine Greer spot on in her obituary of that oafish Australian Tarzan Idol, it seems that from the other side of eternity this snake poison merchant still inspires the same kind of devotion to tastelessness and madness in his wannabe disciples as was his own sorry trademark.
It’s slightly more worrying when nature starts to imitate art - or, more to the point: when animals start to behave as weirdly as the people they are in too close a contact with. Dog owners who start to look like their pets is one thing; dogs who would not only fetch the paper but also would read what the Dow was doing that day - or, in that same vein, horses that followed their riders to such a lunatic extent that they start to deposit their savings in a bank.
As Abraham told the goat (when that angel had buggered off again and Isaac was massaging his wrists and ankles, thinking angel roast & patricide): I kid you not.
Verily, verily, I tell thee, when the animals, as the great sage wrote, start to look at each other, not longer able to tell formerly handsome & decent snouts from sinful, waste-fed human faces, it may be time for the recording angel to call it a day and close the book on this mad planet Ark adventure.
Why wait till they, like we, invent religions, war and chick lit - or worse: empty their piggy banks and drive to the nearest old-McDonald-had-a-farm joint and stuff their faces with hom-sap burgers, while listening to the Birds or the Animals, doing ABBA covers?
So, folks (people & animals) let’s just do one more, final dance, before closing the door on all this madness - and let’s hear it for Ray Charles, who, from his now truly dark new digs, only has to add one more line to that old, old song:
Come on and do the dodo!
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