Only one day to go till the girlfriend arrived – and the cat was getting restless. It doesn’t like company. In fact, it already hates sharing this place with me, let alone with someone else.
Right now it was trying for a state of denial – or blissful ignorance – but failing. You could almost see its nerves slowly unravelling.
“Have you ever thought of donating to a sperm bank?” I asked.
“What?!”
“Well, you’re certainly vain enough and you don’t have a girlfriend who comes to visit you.”
“Oh, go boil a frog!”
“Or maybe I should try and find a nice lady cat for you. Then me and the girlfriend could take the two of you dancing or something. You would look so cute, doing the donkey.”
“Shut up!”
“Then we could dress you up nicely, like one of those doggies American pop stars keep dragging around. Such fun.”
The cat screamed and ran out of the room, nearly dislodging the cat flap. It really was becoming a nervous wreck.
Which reminded me…
“What you need is a holiday!’ I shouted in the general direction of the kitchen; “Maybe some relaxing cruise.”
“Bastard!” shouted the cat.
Then silence ruled again – and all was well in my world.
One more day, till the girlfriend arrived.
My thoughts went this way and that way, meandering like a happy brook, through a landscape filled with all kinds of pleasant distractions – none of them looking even remotely like a sperm bank, I might add.
Life was good.
Then more cat’s curses coming from the kitchen, the sound of breaking glass, more curses and more glasses swept from a shelf. The poor little brute really was cracking up.
So, I put on the head-phones, grabbed an old Leonard Cohen CD and closed my eyes.
Yup, no more cat noises. Just Leonard’s slow, low voice, singing Hallelujah.
Ah yesss: life was very good indeed.
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