Glob-a-log

“And then the prince kissed the handsome farmhand, pulled the boy up behind him on his horse and, to the fading music of some Elton John song, they rode off together, out of the closet and into the future, happily ever after,”

The cat gave me a look.

“Well, it’s the new big thing, you dumb beast: gay fairy-tales. Next thing you know Martel & Lucas will bring all the little kids anatomically and politically correct Ken and Darth Vader dolls, forever together in one pretty box.

The cat yawned.

“Have you been texting again all night?” I asked.

The cat gave me another look.

“Like those Belgium teenagers. Masturbation is out, it seems; instead, they’re sending text-messages all night. So, now those poor kids don’t get enough sleep, which is bad for… – well, whatever, really. Maybe they sleep-crash their scooters or don’t have enough strength left to beat up their teachers, or steal and vandalize stuff. Very sad, that.”

The cat yawned again, jumped off the bed and disappeared through the huff side of the cat flap.

Only for its head to reappear through the contraption half a minute later.

It gave me yet another dirty look.

“Yes, your food: I know. I thought it might perhaps be better if I stopped feeding you.”

“You thought what?!”

“I read this article about that German polar bear…?

“So?”

“Well, some very nice animal protection people decided that since little Knut was raised by people, it wasn’t really a proper bear anymore. So, they thought it would be a much better idea to stop giving it food. In fact, now they want to give it an injection instead and send it back to its mama, who is waiting for her little baby bear in Heaven. Isn’t that the sweetest thing…?”

“Right.”

“You don’t want to go to Heaven?”

“I want my food. Now!”

“Ah well, it was worth a try, I suppose.” I said, to no-one in particular, since the cat had already left for the kitchen.

Whistling that old dance hall favourite, The Teddbears’ picnic, I followed in the slipstream of impatient feline noises.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, March 22nd, 2007 at 07:31 and is filed under Diary. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.