Houston, we have a problem
The camera zooms in. The guy in the weird suit lifts his left foot, like a sleepy dog aiming for its early morning lamp post. He holds on to the ladder, almost losing his thoughts, then says:
That’s one small step for a man, one giant lea…
Then – absolute darkness: no pictures, no sound, no nothing. Does a tree fall if no-one gets crushed beneath it? Does Armstrong finish that whole yawn-inspiring soundbite before Aldrin manages to let him know that they have just lost all connection to planet earth?
Some time later, while the whole world is still hopping mad and not afraid to show it and Neil is sulking on the toilet, the following conversation takes place:
Aldrin: What the Hell happened there?
NASA clean up news team: Sorry about that but we had to cut you off.
Aldrin: Why?
NASA c.u.n.t.: We really need to find out what took place there on the moon today.
Aldrin: Huh…?
NASA c.u.n.t.: We owe it to the people, to future generations, to the truth!
Aldrin: Then why in the bloody name of sanity did you morons cut us off?!
NASA c.u.n.t.: Your pictures might have confused the public. People might have drawn the wrong conclusions from those images. We need some expert team to investigate what really happened and then report back to us.
Aldrin: But…
NASA c.u.n.t.: In order to preserve the truth we had to destroy those pictures.
Aldrin: Have you all gone totally and completely…?!
NASA c.u.n.t.: Is that tape running?
Aldrin: Hello… Hello… Hello…?!
Anyway, with all the usual suspects screaming abuse at each other from high-handed, mouth-froth pulpits and well-designed if somewhat leaky, government issue bunkers, chances are we’ll never find out now what really happened out there on that crowded Afghan highway. One thing does seem absolutely clear, though. It will take a really good clean up team to get rid of all the bloodstains on the marble steps outside that majestic court house and more than one award-winning PR company to resuscitate the poor, mangled body of Captain America.
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